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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25448320">Contrition</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/amateur_professional/pseuds/amateur_professional'>amateur_professional</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Reconnecting [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cults, Estrangement, Gen, Guilt, Minor Character Death, oof</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:40:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,314</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25448320</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/amateur_professional/pseuds/amateur_professional</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Roose sleeps. Leo contemplates their past, family, and everything that happened during the night.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Leo Voigt &amp; Roose Voigt, Past Leo Voigt &amp; Emilia Voigt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Reconnecting [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1843195</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Contrition</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Another...</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Roose didn’t want to let go, but she soon started shivering and that was when they’d pulled away and started leading her to the car. She fell asleep the moment she hit the seats. The ride was silent; Leo wasn't keen on playing the radio after everything that had happened and it was a few hours past midnight, meaning there was barely any traffic on the roads. Their hands felt sticky with blood. They knew it was just their mind tricking them... the blood had been dry for quite some time now.</p><p>Once home, they gently scooped her up into their arms and shut the car door as quietly as they could. The cold night air made her stir, sluggishly grabbing at their bloodstained shirt and curling deeper into the bend of their arm. They had to stop and look at her in the light of the streetlamps. Just. Damn. They were.. impressed that she could still sleep peacefully after everything without a care in the world. </p><p>Leo dug the keys out of their pocket and stuck them in the lock, silently praying that Gum wasn’t up in another one of her night-owl stunts… and it seemed that luck was on their side tonight. She wasn’t. The light in the living room had been left on for them and there was a note stuck to the table telling them to make some tea and get their ass to bed before the sun came up. </p><p>That… probably wasn’t going to happen.</p><p>But they had plenty of time to tuck Roose in, clean up, and think about how they were going to tell Gum the bare minimum of why they suddenly had another person in the house. </p><p>-----</p><p>Getting blood off skin was easy enough, but soaked clothes after hours of drying were pretty much unsalvageable. It wasn’t that noticeable since the fabric was dark, at least, though Leo still pondered the possibility of getting red, or maroon clothes when they had the time.</p><p>Hmm, was the kid used to showering by herself? Probably. </p><p>…What the hell was she supposed to wear? </p><p>Their mind drifted to Roose drowning in one of Gum’s shirts… oh, imagine if she wore one of theirs with sleeves twice as long as her arms—shoot, they dropped the vest. They sighed. If only they had slipped on a uniform before going to a place where they knew things were going to get violent. Or, maybe they should’ve considered not dropping to their knees in a pool of blood to hear the dying wishes of somebody they presumed dead because they felt obligated to—</p><p>They yawned, finished folding the noticeably-stiffer clothes, and plopped them in a pile on the dryer to take care of later. Then they grabbed a cup of water and went to their room, where they could keep an eye on Roose as they, ah, kept themselves awake with the mounting dread of their thoughts. With sips of water in between. </p><p>Leo sat on the edge of the bed, took a long gulp from the cup, and got right to thinking—with Roose’s soft breathing as background ambience. Starting with… the cult. Nothing too personal about it if their thoughts didn’t go in that direction.</p><p>They didn’t have much time to catch every detail inside the houses since they were more focused on finding the cult members (and watching for the armed ones that could jump out from any corner). But they tried to—they were curious. It was the first time they’ve ever been inside the inner workings of a cult. They weren’t surprised that the walls were covered in strange scrawls or that the basement held questionable objects and papers. It was more about what made the place seem almost… homely. Ah—well. Of course it did!</p><p>People—individuals who had mental issues, for sure, but people—had lived there for years. Children had lived their entire lives there, and it showed in the many drawings stuck to the walls and doors and fridges. Each room they had walked past was unique and full to the brim with personal objects that must’ve had great importance to the owner. And none of that mattered now, since most, if not all of it was still there, left behind in the rush to escape. </p><p>There was a chance that they would be sent back there to comb through whatever evidence the first teams had missed. They wanted to explore the place more.. but it wouldn’t be like the initial impression. It would be dark. Abandoned. Filled with the thick smell of blood spilled from dozens of people that couldn’t be cleaned because it was evidence for the case. They would probably have to check every bloodstain to see where it came from and what kind of hit it must’ve taken, then fill a pile of reports with the cause of death… there would be clear imprints where bodies had laid on the floor for hours before they could be removed…</p><p>Blood. Death. Bodies.</p><p>…Emilia, huh? They couldn’t have kept her out of their mind forever.</p><p>Right, going right back to where it all started…</p><p>Leo, after estranging themselves from their entire family in Germany, had immigrated to America. It was going great—they had a stable job, a nice place to live, and most importantly, a fresh start—and then found out that Emilia had done the same thing. She seemed close with their parents.. it must have been a very good reason for her to cut all ties. Even with that shared experience, however.. their relationship never developed past writing the occasional letter or a few scattered calls throughout the year. Leo just wasn’t interested; they had only begrudgingly replied to her attempts at reaching out anyways. </p><p>Emilia had other problems.</p><p>Her tone, in writing and heard in their calls, just seemed.. forced. It seemed like she was trying to keep up a facade of normalcy, pretending that they were still friends—siblings. Pretending that it was like when they were younger, worried about the wall and not having enough money. Then taking comfort in knowing that their family would always stick together through all of it…</p><p>They never pointed it out. </p><p>Now they felt guilty for intentionally overlooking these warning signs. They should. They had continued to keep their interactions cold and stiff, even when her tone had began to change from forced to something more forlorn and.. final. Their interactions became even more scarce, until… ah. </p><p>Perhaps, then, their inaction was responsible for her disappearance.</p><p>The department would surely get a kick out of that one.</p><p>But hey! Karma got them in the end when the two met again, in person, in the worst possible place and in the worst possible circumstances!</p><p>With all the chaos, it was easy to walk past—or walk over any downed person. But they had found themselves in a part of the house that was eerily free of that mayhem. They zeroed in on the only living thing in their vicinity. A figure slumped against the wall, trembling, one arm wrapped around her abdomen in a futile attempt to stem the bleeding from multiple stab wounds. Their mind, high on adrenaline, rapidly pointed out that she was unarmed. Harmless. That prompted them to get closer.. and lo and behold. The sister they thought dead was right here in front of them.</p><p>Now, what was one supposed to do when faced with a situation like this? Move away? Speak? Try and stop the bleeding and hope it was enough to save her? They hesitantly moved to shift her arm away from her injuries.</p><p>Their instincts screamed for them to run before they were cornered, despite being armed to the teeth, but then Emilia jerked to full awareness with a gasp. </p><p>“…Leo?” They froze, then gave a slow, singular nod, not sure what to expect. She stared at them, her expression quickly shifting from fear to incredulity. “Oh,” She breathed, voice breaking, and they heard—felt just how drained she was. Their hand was still hovering over her stomach and she took it in hers, shakily moving it to her cheek. They held it there. “Y-you’re real, you’re here.. you’re…” </p><p>She pitched forwards, bringing up her second arm and pulling them close as what little blood she had left flowed freely into the pool on the floor. Her breath hitched. They felt cold liquid soak into the fabric on their knees and warm tears under their palm. They felt the unnatural coolness of her skin and her shallow, pained breaths as she pressed her face into their shoulder to have some comfort in her final moments.</p><p>They realized that unless medical aid came, there was no helping her. There was nothing they could do but hold still, letting Emilia whimper and choke out a few muffled sobs. </p><p>They weren’t sure how long they knelt there, but she eventually drew in a long, shuddering breath—and began to speak. “The c-cult.. it always evacuates the children first..” Another shaking breath. “I had—I have a daughter here. Sh-she’s three.. no, barely four. They’ll raise her into a mindless follower.. I know you h-hate me, Leo, but I’m b-begging you. Find her—!” She fell into a fit of coughing, eventually punctuated by wet, gurgling gasps for air. Blood dripped from her lips as the coughing finally died down.</p><p>“They can’t t-take her away… please…” Her voice was faint, barely a murmur. </p><p>They couldn’t promise that! It had been some time since they first arrived and there was no knowing whether the cultists had escaped with the children yet. The girl could already be on her way to some other hideout! How would they even know if they got the right person? Well… </p><p>It didn’t matter if they found her daughter, really, as long as Emilia didn’t die as hopeless as she lived. </p><p>They owed her at least that much.</p><p>They pulled back enough for the two to meet eyes, gruffly mumbling a reply. “…I’ll do my best.” </p><p>She sighed, a weak smile spreading across her features.</p><p>All her strength seemed to leave her, then, as the grip on their arm slackened and her limp body fell back to the wall—or it would’ve if they didn’t catch her at the last second. That garnered a small laugh from her. It was genuine. They didn’t know what to think.</p><p>“She looks just like me when I was her age…” Emilia hummed, light contentment in her voice. She seemed to have more to say. But then her eyes fluttered shut, and whatever words she still had died on her tongue. </p><p>Leo had rested her against the wall and left immediately afterwards, refusing to wait until her pulse had faded away. There was no time to grieve for someone who had died long before her heart stopped beating. They had a job to do. They couldn’t afford to let feelings compromise the operation—</p><p>..Their hands were shaking.</p><p>…</p><p>“Mrnn..” The small figure next to them stirred, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She must not be used to sleeping in a real bed like this, considering that the cultist children had slept in piles with pillows and blankets. Roose blinked. She watched them with curiosity and slight wariness while Leo glanced back through their haze of thoughts. A faraway memory called out to them, using their flashback as a tether—and though the light was dim they could see the striking resemblance in her to Emilia. The Father wasn’t present at all…</p><p>“Mommy?” The girl blurted, twisting the duvet nervously.</p><p>That snapped them back to reality. “Er. Yes…?”</p><p>First of all, why did she call them that if she had addressed them by name just hours ago at the station? And second—why did they answer to it?</p><p>Roose continued twisting. </p><p>“Um.. the bed is weird.” Ah. She wanted to sleep with her friends like before, right? Perhaps the bed was too soft? Maybe she was feeling homesick?</p><p>Regardless of the reason, they moved into a more comfortable position, propping themselves up against the pillows. They wordlessly motioned to their side. She instantly perked, forgetting her worry and literally bouncing to them in glee. </p><p>Roose ended up curled up at their chest like a kitten, nestled right under their chin. She had wrapped her arms around them as far as they would go.. which wasn’t very far, but she seemed comfortable. </p><p>“Thanks, Mommy…” But before she could drift off, they couldn’t help but ask:</p><p>“Why do you call me that?” They didn’t look feminine by any means and she didn’t seem to mind. </p><p>Roose shifted, humming. </p><p>She lifted herself so that their faces were level, and answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You feel like one!” And though it made perfect sense to a child, the meaning was lost on them. She frowned slightly at the lack of response and elaborated further: “You smell like my other mommy, and you look a lot like her too. I think you also look like Father, but…” She remembered the look of fear on Emilia’s face when he had— “You aren’t.. mean like him.” She was fully aware of who they were. Too aware, maybe, considering that nobody had explained to her in detail why Leo was taking her in.</p><p>“..Oh.” Was a satisfactory enough reply for her, and she plopped right back down with a grin. Soon, she was out like a light.</p><p>They could afford to feel something now, right? The worst was over with. Roose was softly snoring into their shirt.</p><p>Something.. something other than dread, or guilt, or even plain curiosity. </p><p>…</p><p>It was relief. Satisfaction at a job well done—but not the kind they were paid to do. It was personal.</p><p>And so they said, to nobody in particular:</p><p>“…I did my best.”</p>
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